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Donald Trump, the human embodiment of a stale Cheeto, never fails to amaze us with his antics. His latest performance? A presidential debate with a side of golf trash talk that felt oddly out of place among discussions of national importance.
During the first presidential debate, Trump and Joe Biden, the two oldest candidates in U.S. history, clashed on pretty much everything, including each other’s stamina and who could qualify as the least likely to need a mid-debate nap. Trump, in his usual boastful manner, claimed he’s still as fit as he was decades ago, proudly stating his golf course championship victories as if they were military conquests. Biden, he said, “can’t hit the ball 50 yards.”
In his past interviews, Trump has claimed to have won 18 club championships. Eighteen! That’s a high number, equal to the championships won by golf legends like Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods. I bet he can’t even name the courses where he supposedly won these championships. The most ridiculous thing about Trump’s golfing obsession is how much time he spends on the course. Since taking office, Forbes notes Trump’s golf trips cost an estimated $100 million and more to taxpayers.
Maybe, Trump thinks that his mere presence on the golf course is enough to get him all the attention he craves. And maybe it is, but not for the reasons he thinks. I mean, who wouldn’t be distracted by the sight of a sweaty, orange blob huffing and puffing his way through 18 holes, possibly needing a sit-down with a bucket of KFC and a Diet Coke? Following their verbal joust, a video that emerged on X showcased Trump swinging a golf club with all the grace and finesse of a panting hippo with a MAGA cap.
In the video, the only thing that’s “ripped” on his body is the seams of his ill-fitting golf attire. That’s probably the closest Trump has come to a heavy workout session in decades.
Believe it or not, the reason Trump’s physique is a mess is due to his “aversion” to traditional exercises. After college, Trump mostly gave up his personal athletic interests. He has been quoted as believing that human energy is like a battery, which is depleted by exercise (via Vox). Therefore, he reportedly avoids traditional forms of exercise to conserve his energy. In a 2015 New York Times article titled “Donald Trump’s Campaign Is Based on Fear,” the author mentions:
“Mr. Trump said he was not following any special diet or exercise regimen for the campaign. ”All my friends who work out all the time, they’re going for knee replacements, hip replacements — they’re a disaster,” he said.”
So, let me get this straight. Trump thinks exercise is bad for you!
Compare that to Biden, who actually seems to understand the value of physical fitness. The man may be pushing 80, but at least he makes an effort to stay active. But at least he has a history of being athletic. He was a football player in high school and college, and he’s been known to jog and bike in his spare time.
Meanwhile, Trump doesn’t believe in practice or hard work. He thinks everything should just come naturally to him because he’s some sort of stable genius, a titan of the tee box, a master of the mulligan. But in reality, he’s just a sad, little man with a big ego and a penchant for exaggeration.