‘You don’t know anything!’: Ted Cruz dismantled, humiliated by *checks notes* Tucker Carlson?!

Ted Cruz looked relaxed as he sat down for what he doubtless assumed would be a softball interview with Tucker Carlson. After all, the former Fox News host is a dyed-in-the-wool conservative and, for the most part, is in lock-step with the Republican Party on all its decisions. What do they have to disagree on

But, in an unexpected and refreshing twist, what looked like a comfy leatherback chair was secretly an operating table, and Carlson was the surgeon. Carlson systematically dismantled Cruz with freshly sharpened scalpels, leaving the slime elemental a stammering, sweaty, and thoroughly disgruntled mess.

Carlson got in some heavy hits on Cruz on Iran. Cruz has been a cheerleader for military action, but Carlson quizzed him on the country and revealed how little he really knows about it. Cruz was unable even to give a rough estimate of its population and had no idea of the ethnic makeup of the country. Cruz was forced to throw up his hands and say he’s not the “Tucker Carlson expert on Iran”, causing a visibly amused Carlson to chuckle, “You don’t know anything about the country!”

Ted Cruz on Iran. Full interview tomorrow. pic.twitter.com/hJNwAHAnxZ

— Tucker Carlson (@TuckerCarlson) June 18, 2025

Cruz then goofed by apparently revealing a huge secret that the U.S. is already bombing Iran, before rapidly backpedaling and saying it was just a turn of phrase. Loose lips sink ships, buddy.

“I’m not mad”

Cruz also tangled himself up in a mess over Israel. Carlson asked him if he thought Israeli intelligence service Mossad engaging in covert action within the United States and spying on the president is a good thing. You might assume this would be an easy question for a United States senator to answer (the correct response being “no”).

Cruz twisted, prevaricated, and tangled himself into semantic knots, insisting that having the military ally you routinely send billions of dollars in support to secretly snooping through your dirty laundry is actually a good thing.

Tucker: Do they spy on the US?

Cruz: They probably do.

Tucker: And it’s ok with you?

Cruz: One of the things about being a conservative is that you’re not naive..

Tucker: So it’s conservative to pay people to spy on you? pic.twitter.com/66O4kAMjqq

— Acyn (@Acyn) June 18, 2025

Please don’t mistake this for praise of Tucker Carlson. The man has been a net drain on American intelligence, an enormous source of disinformation, and has propagated delusions that have damaged the fabric of society.

So, let’s take this as an Aliens vs Predator type situation: two screeching monsters tearing chunks out of each other. Sure, “whoever wins, we lose”, but I’ll munch through a bag of popcorn watching them duke it out.