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This article discusses school violence, school shootings, and trauma in children. Please read with care.
It’s not every day that scrolling your TikTok leads you to an account run by someone with a history of life-altering violence. We share videos of everything from love stories gone wrong to trending games and songs that are sweeping the pop culture realm, but TikTok is also a space for the heartwrenching and emotional, and emotions are at an all-time high after a video from a school shooter has gained traction, as have several videos shared in reaction to it.
I’m being as authentic and open as possible here, because the topic at hand is as horrifying as they come; no one living in our society is immune to the impact and aftereffects of a school shooting, and as a parent, it’s one of the most inhumane fears we carry with us each day. School shooters are, in my opinion, some of the most vile people out there, and I have a hard time thinking any differently of someone who could walk into a building full of children and decide to open fire, risking the life and limb of kids. Be it an elementary or a high school, the people in those buildings who put their backpacks on and kissed their parents goodbye are children; they’re kids, and they have dreams, hopes, and wishes for tomorrow.
Jon Romano is a school shooter who spent a little over 15 years in prison, and is also the victim of an attack; while both those statements are factual, and while they co-exist, many don’t think Romano being a “victim” is the correct term. A man with swords attacked him, and he recently took to his social media platform — yes, Romano has decided to house quite a presence on TikTok — to share more in-depth details on his life story. He decided to take it a step further — if you can imagine that — and talk about racism, too.
It’s hard to pinpoint which video was the turning point for some viewers, but the stitch shared above highlights an overarching fact; people aren’t just “upset” that he’s on TikTok, it’s impacting people so immensely that it’s hard for them to keep quiet.
Romano’s TikTok username, @jonseekingpeace, holds a space in which very few do, and perhaps that’s the issue in and of itself. Many who have stumbled across his account have difficulty rationalizing his massive online presence, questioning whether he’s really trying to help others, or simply looking for attention.
An account run by a woman named Kait, @youcancallmekait, has provided an intensive deep-dive opposing Jon’s presence, and she’s certainly done her research. In fact, she opens up with a primary reason people are struggling so much with Jon’s account — and it’s the same struggle I had.
“Here’s the problem a lot of us are having with this whole school shooter having a platform situation: he could very easily be doing what he does in private. He can be working with law enforcement, he can be speaking with school counselors, whatever he needs to do in private training seminars, but the fact that that man is allowed to walk in and be an inspirational speaker inside of schools is what I have a problem with. I have a problem with people paying him to come tell his story about how he terrorized people, but it’s okay because he was dealing with mental health issues. A lot of 16-year-olds who were abused deal with mental health issues every day and don’t go in and decide to shoot up their school. His words were that he didn’t want to go through it alone, that he wanted to be remembered. Also, have you guys not seen the stitches of actual shooting survivors who have said ‘oh my god, why is he following me?’ Be fu****** for real?”
The fact that Romano is doing everything so publicly is a significant point of contention for many; if he truly wishes to help, why not reach out and do so in silence? Having a public platform as substantial as his is triggering on many levels, especially for children who have survived such tragedies, and may happen upon his account as they’re scrolling through TikTok.
Think about that tinge of anxiety you get when you see someone at Target that you hoped to not run into, the way your heart sinks when you see an old friend in a social setting and your hurt starts to take center stage; those every day feelings are nothing compared to what pain and detriment that children, young adults, and even people Romano’s age would feel in seeing him on social media.
The trauma that children who have survived a school shooting carry with them isn’t something that can be put into a box; their intense and complex feelings can’t be studied and explained away. A fundamental level of safety is stolen from a child who goes to school to learn and ends up in the middle of a fight for their life. The only place children are more than home with their families is in a school building; it’s a place they should be able to go to feel safe, get an education, and feel cared for.
So, forgive me if the idea of a school shooter using a social media platform to preach kindness and visions of peace is something I have a hard time reckoning with; it should surprise no one that many feel the same way. Here at We Got This Covered, we wanted to reach out and see what Jon had to say about, well — everything.
This is Jon’s response:
“Parents, teachers, students, and the entire country is fed up with all of the school shootings, which seem to have only increased over the past 25 years. After the terrible attack in Parkland, Florida, we saw the survivors come together and speak out for change. I was, like a lot of others, hopeful that the attention they were getting would actually create momentum for something to happen – anything to help prevent more of these tragedies.
Instead, for the most part, things have gone on as usual… including the school shootings. I weighed out if my speaking publicly would help more people than it would hurt. Because I know my sharing my story hurts people, but I do believe I am helping.
Despite the current backlash I am receiving, which I completely understand, I also continue to get a lot of people reaching out to me thanking me for what I do. Some of those same parents, teachers and even students who are frustrated with the lack of change, believe I can help save lives.
I can never undo what I have done, the pain and trauma that I have caused upon so many, but I am working towards preventing others from experiencing that same pain and suffering.”
There’s a desperate need to help save our children, and it is also evident that some of the most obvious things we could do seem like some of the ones we’re most unwilling to do. Until the proper measures are made to stop school shootings, we’re left trying to pick up the pieces and find ways to heal children who face tragedy that far surpasses any realm of understanding.
ABC shares the following information from Dr. Daniel Marullo, a clinical psychologist from Children’s of Alabama Hospital, as he explains some of the changes that might be noticed in children who experience a shooting:
“What would be considered a typical reaction could range everywhere from changes in mood, including being sad, angry, irritable, lowered frustration tolerance to having sleep problems. Certainly, a child may be more prone to having some nightmares or scary dreams, you might see changes in appetite.”
Dr. Marc Gorelick spoke on the impacts on children that will primarily be categorized in two ways:
“The impacts on them tend to fall into two categories. Like older kids, they will often have symptoms of post-traumatic stress, that could be nightmares, sleep problems, avoiding certain locations, including avoiding school, because of the associated trauma.”
Everything from sleep problems to school avoidance on a major scale is experienced by those who have felt the effects of a school shooting, and that just barely scrapes the surface. Experiencing a school shooting changes everyone involved on a fundamental level. As a mother, I pray over my son each morning that he’ll come home from school — it tears me up each time a news bulletin with a school shooting appears on the television, and I can’t imagine what it does to the children who are in those buildings, praying for their own lives.
Romano also posted a video highlighting some of the same things he shared in the message with us on his TikTok account just an hour ago. If you’re unfamiliar with his case, he does have several videos in which he answers questions about the shooting and what has happened in the years after. An explainer video he has on the shooting explains his motives the day he took a gun into the school, or at least — it sort of does.
On Feb. 9, 2004, Romano explains, he did the unthinkable and walked into his high school with a shotgun. He goes on to immediately state that his intentions that day were not to kill but to be killed, and he goes into detail regarding his mental health struggles and the things he experienced at the time.
More than once, he openly states that he wanted people to see him because he felt alone in his struggles, unaware that depression and mental health struggles were something many around him were feeling. He reiterates that he didn’t go into the school building that day with the intention of being killed, but it appears that his reflections now don’t coincide with what he said at the time of the attack.
Kait, the woman behind the account we spoke about earlier, dove into news stories and his sentencing back many years ago, and she found out that he admitted to something entirely different when he was closer to the situation.
“Let’s review the court case together, shall we? School shooter pleads guilty for attempting to shoot and kill some of his classmates and teachers in the halls of Columbia High School last February 17-year-old John W. Romano is expected to spend the next 20 years behind bars. The evidence in this case was truly overwhelming. He wrote in a written statement to police that it was his intention of going to that high school that day to shoot up the place. Romano also told authorities he had had fantasies of shooting random people for up to a year before the moment he decided to act on his impulses. He brought a loaded gun to school, and he fired it at two students and a teacher. Of course, years down the line. He’s going to say that he did it with the intention of just killing himself. He pled guilty to attempted murder because that was his intention was to murder people. So, you guys defending him is just blowing my mind right now.”
Romano didn’t kill anyone in the school shooting that day, but he did cause injuries on the physical, mental, and psychological realm of existence for everyone in the building, their friends, and their loved ones.
Kait speaks about that, too — she says in a video, with tears in her eyes, that she struggled with making the video but ultimately decided to because she felt it was necessary. Kait is an early childhood educator and a parent, and she chose to forgo public education and switch to private teaching out of a fear of gun violence. Her reasons behind it will likely cause you to feel a significant shift in your emotions:
“The caption in my bio says dead kids can’t read. If you are unfamiliar with me, I am an early childhood educator and a parent who went from teaching in public school to teaching privately because of gun violence. I could not continue to go to work every day and feel scared that I was going to die. The first time I ever had to tell a group of kindergarteners about a lockdown drill changed me Have you ever looked into the eyes of 27 five-year-olds and told them that they would be okay when you’re pretty sure that they wouldn’t be? Have you ever thought about using your body as a human shield to protect babies?”
As I do, Kait prays over her child each day and hopes she’ll make it home from school. As a parent, it’s one of the most complicated emotions to reason with that we kiss our children on the top of their heads, drop them off at their place of education, and feel a tinge of worry all day that a shooter will end their lives. It’s not normal, it’s not okay; it’s terrifying.
“That’s the reality of living in the United States. And you, sir, are one of the ‘OG’ school shooters. The only reason you are out walking around as a free man is because no one died, and thank God, no one died. You ruined people’s lives that day. There are people who are never going to feel safe again, because of you. You say that you want to be part of the solution — speak privately with psychologists and school counselors so they know what to look for. But you should not have a platform, and no one should be supporting this man’s platform. You are a narcissist, and I believe that you’re evil. I believe people are capable of change. It takes a special kind of person, aspecial kind of evil to walk into a building with children with the intent on taking their lives. If you care about making a change, you will leave this platform.”
Romano doesn’t plan to leave the platform, but he knows that people are finding it hard to see him on it. As Kait tearfully explains her stance on Romano’s presence, the idea of mental health is brought up because of the deep anxiety it causes her.
Regarding mental health struggles being the reason Romano brought a gun to school, several video responses don’t share much sympathy for his course of action. You see, as Romano himself notes, many struggle with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues daily, but as Jasmine says — they don’t take guns to school with intent to harm or be harmed.
Another point of importance is that one of the reasons people are so shocked at the state of Romano’s social presence and existence as a whole has to do with one thing: race. There are people serving life sentences for far less than what Romano was found guilty of, and anyone who sits with that realization for even a moment finds it hard to understand why he’s able to not just walk free but to have a presence as massive and public as he does.
They’re not wrong for having those feelings; they’re not wrong for wanting to make it make sense.
When it comes to violence in schools, nothing makes sense, like the heartbreaking statistic from Stanford that reads as follows: “More than 100,000 American children attended a school at which a shooting took place in 2018 and 2019.”
You read that right; in just two years, more than 100,000 American children were impacted by violence in their school; more than 100,000 American children crouched behind desks with their backpacks or in stalls in the bathroom, or behind their teachers who were prepared to use their bodies as shields to protect them and prayed for the evil to go away.
No one who disagrees with Romano’s social presence is asking for forgiveness or for you to understand; in fact, they’re trying to understand why people seem to be okay with it, but the truth is this: Romano believes what he’s doing can create change, and an overwhelming majority of others believe that what he’s doing will only serve to harm anyone who has ever been affected by a school shooting. There will never be a bridge that gaps those two opposing sides.