‘They hit me with eggs’: Trust fund toddler Trump proves he’s clueless about breakfast and invents his own facts

America’s discount dictator in designer duds was at it again yesterday, displaying his remarkable talent for transforming simple questions about economic reality into bewildering word salads.

During a press event with Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni, Trump was asked a straightforward question about rising prices. It was a softball, really: “How long can Americans expect the pain of inflation to last?” A fair question, considering that most Americans are feeling the pinch of higher grocery bills and gas prices. But instead of providing a coherent answer or even pretending to empathize with struggling families, Trump first claimed that gas prices were down to $1.98 in some states.

Then, he launched into an unprompted rant about eggs. Yes, eggs. You see, according to Trump, when he first took office, the media was “screaming” at him about skyrocketing egg prices. (Spoiler alert: they weren’t.) He claimed he was blamed for a crisis that wasn’t his doing, but thanks to his “unbelievable job,” egg prices have since dropped by a miraculous 92%.

Ninety-two percent? Really? If that were true, we’d be paying about 50 cents for a dozen eggs right now, and grocery stores would be practically giving them away as door prizes. But as anyone with a functioning brain — and a receipt from last week’s grocery trip — can tell you, that’s simply not the case.

Here’s what’s actually happening. According to the Consumer Price Index and multiple reputable sources, egg prices have increased dramatically over the past few years, thanks to real-world factors like avian flu outbreaks, supply chain issues, and rising feed costs. When Trump took office, the average price of a dozen eggs was $5.81. Today, it’s hovering around $6 per dozen, with fluctuations depending on whether you’re buying organic, free-range, or plain old factory-farmed eggs. So, where did Trump’s magical 92% figure come from? Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe he heard it from one of his sycophants, or maybe he just pulled it out of the same mysterious void where “covfefe” and his healthcare plan have been hiding. Either way, it’s a blatant lie. And what’s worse, it’s not even a good lie. It’s the kind of obvious, easily debunked nonsense that makes you wonder if he even cares about being caught.

It’s about a pattern — a deeply troubling pattern — of Trump inventing his own version of reality whenever the truth doesn’t suit him. They’re designed to create a parallel universe where he’s always the hero, always the victim, and always, somehow, right. And for his die-hard supporters, it works. They don’t see a man who’s out of touch with reality. They see a “straight shooter” who tells it like it is — even when he’s blatantly making it up.