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After peddling everything from overpriced sneakers and bibles to gimmicky NFTs, tacky trading cards, $100 silver coins emblazoned with his smug face, and even gaudy $100K watches dripping with unmitigated arrogance, Donald Trump is now strong-arming his long-suffering wife, Melania, into hawking her memoir to save his sorry hide from the looming specter of bankruptcy.
He owes $539 million in legal penalties.
Melania Trump‘s self-aggrandizing memoir, set to hit the shelves on Oct. 8, promises to provide her “unique” perspective on her tumultuous tenure in the White House. This includes the infamous debacle where she ripped out countless historic plants and trees from the Rose Garden, originally designed under Jacqueline Kennedy’s elegant guidance in the 1960s. While all of this is still somewhat palatable, what’s truly side-splitting is Trump’s earlier delusional proclamation that Melania’s book is #1 in the U.S. He might want to pull his head out of his posterior and check whose book is actually leaving hers in the dust.
On Amazon’s current bestsellers list, Melania’s memoir does indeed occupy the top spot. However, if you venture beyond the confines of Amazon’s echo chamber and take a gander at other bestsellers list including USA Today and The New York Times, Melania is nowhere to be found. The New York Times list is the equivalent of the Red Carpet, and it has a very limited number of coveted spots. Competition is fierce even for traditionally published authors. And Melania’s book not making it up there not only debunks Trump’s boastful claims but downright embarrasses them.
Meanwhile, Trump’s arch-nemesis and perennial thorn in his side, Hillary Clinton, has coincidentally (or perhaps deliberately) taken to Twitter to clarify the status of her own book.
The timing of her tweet, could be seen as serendipitous, or, for the more conspiratorially minded, a calculated reminder of who actually won the popularity contest back in 2016. After all, Clinton did outpace Trump by nearly 2.9 million votes, a margin that might just find a parallel in book sales. Clinton’s “Something Lost, Something Gained” delves into her personal and political life, covering topics such as her return to academia, her experiences as a former First Lady, and her continued activism for women and democracy. One can’t help but wonder if the public is more interested in the insights of a respected political figure than in a ghostwritten memoir tangled up with the likes of sex offender Jeffrey Epstein and wife-slayer O.J. Simpson.
In the end, the sound of Hillary’s book sales soaring past the expectations might just be the last thing Donald and Melania wanted to hear, as it subtly suggests she’s edged them out again—especially considering she previously handed the bankrupt billionaire a $938,000 tab in a humiliating legal defeat.
Perhaps it would behoove Trump to keep his pie hole shut for once, as time and again, we’ve seen him reap the whirlwind of his own hubris and idiocy. But then again, wisdom and Trump have never been on the best of terms (despite his repeated claims of having the “MIT genes” and general mastery of, well, everything).