Tech Wreck: The Tech News Trainwreck You Didn’t See Coming 🚂💥: Apple’s Diet Craze: Skinny iPhones & Chunky Watches? 📱⌚

The news cycle spins faster than a hamster on a wheel, but let’s be honest, most of it’s just reruns of the same drama. That’s why we’re here with another episode of “News You Probably Missed and Shouldn’t Have!” – to dig a little deeper, uncover the weird, and unearth the stories that make you go, “Wait, what?” So, grab your favorite beverage, settle in, and prepare to be amazed (or horrified, we won’t judge).

The EU puts Meta’s AI training plans on hold

Mark Zuckerberg’s dream of turning Europe into a training ground for his AI robots just hit a snag. EU regulators said “Hold on there, cowboy,” because they’re worried Meta might be snooping on Europeans’ social media posts to feed its AI machines. Meta says it would only use public stuff, like grandma’s vacation photos (no worries, grandma! Or maybe worry a little), but the EU isn’t buying it. So, for now, Meta’s AI is stuck learning without all the juicy European gossip. Buckle up for a future where AI asks “What are those weird European trends?” and nobody knows the answer!

Steven Spielberg’s Apple Watch had a meltdown

Famed Hollywood director Steven Spielberg was giving a talk at a film festival when his fancy Apple Watch decided to throw a mini-tantrum. The watch thought Steven had taken a nasty tumble and started freaking out, prompting him to yell at it and toss it on the ground. But the watch wasn’t having it! It started blaring a distress signal, like a tiny alarm clock of doom. Spielberg eventually caved in and picked it up to silence the annoying device. Maybe the Apple Watch was auditioning for a role in Steven’s next drama epic.

Apple Watch Series X to get a redesign with a thinner build

Apple Watch apparently wants to be bigger but not chubbier! Leaks suggest the upcoming Series X will sport a thinner build with bigger screens. We might see sizes jump from 41mm and 45mm to 45mm and a whopping 49mm. Some folks say the bezels will shrink too, giving even more screen space. This is all according to analyst Ming-Chi Kuo, who basically whispers secrets about Apple products in the dead of night. So, get ready for a potentially sleeker Apple Watch that might look a bit comical on your wrist, like a supersized version of the ones you already know.

Apple to slim down its iPhones

Apple’s on a mission to slim down its devices, and next on the chopping block is the iPhone 17! Forget chunky phones, the iPhone 17 is rumored to be super skinny, like a phone that skipped leg day at the gym. This follows their trend with the new iPad Pro, which is practically paper-thin. Imagine an iPhone that finally fits comfortably in your pocket without feeling like a brick! Analysts say this is just the beginning of a new sleek era for Apple. Let’s hope it doesn’t turn into a trend of sacrificing battery life for thinness!

Huawei’s HarmonyOS NEXT to break free from Linux and Android codes

Huawei’s HarmonyOS NEXT is apparently ditching the training wheels! The company is planning to toss out the parts borrowed from Linux and Android, aiming to be completely independent. Imagine a kid bike that suddenly throws away its stabilizers and yells “I got this!”. That’s what Huawei is doing to avoid potential scrutiny from American authorities. Some folks are worried it might become a wobbly mess, but Huawei says it’ll be a smoother ride than ever. We’ll have to wait and see if HarmonyOS NEXT can stand on its own two wheels.

Samsung joins hands with tech students to develop Galaxy AI

Samsung is feeling the heat in the AI race, so it’s teaming up with some brainiacs from Seoul National University to develop super-smart AI for Galaxy phones. Think of it as hiring Hermione Granger to tutor your phone. These students will work on AI technologies that can run on the phone itself, without needing to call for backup from the cloud. Imagine a phone that’s so smart it can understand you even when you mumble! Well, that might be Samsung’s ultimate dream. The firm is hoping these students will cook up some ideas that will help it ace the AI exam.

Qualcomm admits its Snapdragon 6s Gen 3 isn’t an entirely new chip

Qualcomm is in hot water for trying to pull a fast one on phone lovers. It released this “new” chip called the Snapdragon 6s Gen 3, but it turns out it’s just a recycled version of a 2021 model, the Snapdragon 695. It’s like buying a new phone with a “super upgraded” processor, only to find out it’s the same engine as your old one with a fancy paint job! Qualcomm says it’s “enhanced” the chip, but some folks are saying it’s more like a phone salesman with a thesaurus. This whole thing is a confusing mess. Maybe next time they’ll just call it the “Snapdragon 695 2.0: Now with More Shine!”

Sonos assures it doesn’t sell user data

Sonos recently made a scandalous move, like your friend who borrows money and suddenly stops mentioning how trustworthy they are. It removed a line—”Sonos does not and will not sell personal information about our customers”—from its privacy policy. The company later assured everyone it’s not what they thought, but you can’t help but raise an eyebrow when the policy involves selling your data. It says it’s just a “spring cleaning” thing, but you remember that leather jacket you loved…

DOJ sues Adobe for almost-uncancelable subscriptions

Adobe’s subscriptions are like a subscription to a one-horse town. Seems easy to get in, but getting out? You’ll need a lawyer, a map, and maybe a night’s worth of sleep to avoid that early termination fee. The US government is saying Adobe makes it super hard to cancel its subscription, basically trapping folks in paying for software they might not even want anymore. The DOJ is making the software firm make rounds of the court and explain this fraudulent behavior.

Microsoft desperately wants you to use its Edge browser

Microsoft’s trying to win back your heart (or at least your eyeballs) with its browser, Edge. A cheesy new 3D pop-up banner begs you to ditch your current browser and switch to Edge. Imagine your computer screen turning into a bad 90s movie special effect, all to convince you that Edge is the ultimate browsing champion. Yeah, it’s not the smoothest move. It’s more like a desperate plea from a lonely kid at the school dance. Wonder if Microsoft will ever give up on this digital matchmaking. At least it’s not trying to hide the banner in the lunchroom with a tray full of cookies… yet.

Amazon fined $6 million in California for the lack of transparency

Amazon’s warehouse workers in California are feeling like hamsters on a punishment wheel—working ever faster but never getting anywhere. The state fined the company nearly $6 million because it failed to tell workers exactly what that “getting nowhere” quota even is. Apparently, keeping warehouse employees in the dark about expectations is a big no-no in California. Amazon says it’s innocent, but those excuses are about as believable as a free two-day shipping guarantee during the holidays.

AMD is investigating a potential data breach

AMD’s got a case of the Mondays, and it’s not even Monday! A hacker named “IntelBroker” is trying to sell the firm’s secret sauce online, like spilling the recipe for the world’s best CPU stew. Well, not exactly, but the hacker claims to have a lot of information about AMD’s employees. The firm is investigating if the claims are true. And if they are, this could be a disaster for AMD and its employees. Or maybe just a chance for its rivals to finally release a chip that can keep up!

Nvidia becomes the world’s most valuable company

In the tech world, there’s a new sheriff in town, and their name ain’t Bill Gates. Nvidia, the graphics card giant, has dethroned Microsoft as the world’s most valuable company! Microsoft is probably feeling like that kid who loses their lunch money—confused and maybe a little hangry. This is a huge win for Nvidia, who’ve been on a tear lately thanks to their dominance in the world of artificial intelligence. The firm’s stock has nearly tripled in value this year, which reveals what AI means to the tech industry today, and why lawmakers want to regulate the AI companies.

Starlink Mini lets you carry the internet wherever you go

Space internet just got a whole lot more portable thanks to Starlink’s revolutionary new gadget called the Starlink Mini. This little guy is basically a satellite dish the size of a laptop that can bring you internet wherever you roam, as long as you have a USB power bank. Imagine chilling in the mountains and posting envy-inducing vacation pics to your friends and followers as you click them– all thanks to Elon Musk. Just beware of data roaming charges in space! We don’t have the details on the price yet, but hopefully, it’s cheaper than a rocket trip.

Pixel’s overheating warnings are getting more descriptive

Google Pixel phones are getting more chatty! Instead of the boring “phone getting warm” message, they’ll soon be giving you a friendly heads-up like, “Hey buddy, you’re running a bit hot! Maybe put down that game and step outside for some fresh air.” No more semi-cryptic warnings that leave you scrambling to Google what they mean. These new warnings will be like having a backseat driver for your phone’s temperature. They’ll tell you to chill out, close some power-hungry apps, and avoid leaving your phone baking in the sun.

YouTube caught people faking their location to get Premium cheaply

Imagine you’re trying to sneak into a fancy movie theater by pretending to be a toddler. But then the usher busts you and says “Uh uh uh, only real toddlers get in free!” That’s kind of what’s happening with YouTube Premium and VPNs. People were trying to trick YouTube into thinking they were in a country with cheaper subscriptions, but YouTube caught on and said “Nope, gotta pay the real price.” Some folks are crying foul, saying YouTube is being a bully. But others say hey, you can’t expect to waltz into the VIP section with a coupon for the kiddie meal.

EU isn’t happy about Apple’s inefficient compliance with the DMA

Apple’s in hot water with the EU again! The company is trying to follow the latest tech trends, but instead tripping over the Digital Markets Act (DMA). The EU says Apple’s changes to the App Store to comply with the DMA are just a fancy costume. Apparently, app developers can’t freely point users to cheaper deals outside the App Store, which is a big no-no in the DMA rulebook and could attract hefty fines. Apple says it’s a good rule follower, but the EU isn’t buying it. The iPhone maker might have to make bigger changes or risk emptying its piggy bank.

Galaxy Watch 6 buyers get a free MyFitnessPal Premium subscription

Looks like Samsung is trying to sweeten the deal on the Galaxy Watch 6 before the new Galaxy Watch 7 rolls in. It’s saying, “Hey, our watch might not be the most advanced toy anymore, but it comes with a free personal trainer in your pocket (kind of)!” This free MyFitnessPal Premium subscription is like getting a gym membership included with the watch. But instead of grunting bodybuilders, you get a creepy app judging your every calorie. Still, for three months, it’s not a bad deal! Especially if you’re looking to get in shape before the Galaxy Watch 7 arrives to make you feel more outdated than your current watch.

Apple says it didn’t make AI to force an early iPhone upgrade

Apple’s got this fancy new AI feature called “Apple Intelligence” that’s supposed to make your iPhone super smart. But guess what? You can only use it if you have the latest iPhone, which basically makes your older iPhone look nothing smarter than a box of rocks. Of course, Apple says it’s not trying to bully you into buying a new phone. It claims the new AI is like a super powerful athlete, and your old iPhone is just a couch potato. It wouldn’t be able to handle all the fancy AI stuff anyway, so it’s basically for its own good. Sure, Apple. Totally believable.

You must pay X to live stream a video

X is shaking things up again, and this time, it’s like the company is charging you to sing karaoke in your shower! It’s putting live streaming behind a paywall (a Premium subscription will do), making it the only social media platform where you gotta pay to unleash your inner broadcaster. Imagine having to tip yourself to watch your own epic gameplay. This move is about as popular as lukewarm pizza. Get ready for a lot of folks live streaming from other platforms to protest… for free!