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Finding the right wedding venue can be tough, with some places having waiting lists that stretch for years. Planning ahead is the key to making sure everything goes smoothly, but for LGBTQ+ couples, the task is more challenging, as they sometimes encounter outright rejection just because of their sexual preferences.
Blair Gunderson (@gundersonblair) from Oklahoma posted a TikTok wherein she shared a message she received from the owner of Eleven Oaks Ranch, a highly-rated wedding venue. Before she showed the full text, however, Blair said the point of her TikTok wasn’t to slander the business. Instead, she just wanted to educate other LGBTQ+ couples.
As context, Blair and her partner Jenn are looking to check out venues for their upcoming wedding. She presumably filled out a tour appointment form on the venue’s website that contained details of the event and got a reply from the owner, Justin Anderson. The text read, in part, “Due to our personal beliefs, we are unable to host your event at our venue.” Justin went on to add that they “truly respect” Blair as a person and proceeded to recommend other venues that she could check out.
Blair also gave Justin a suggestion regarding Eleven Oaks Ranch’s website, saying, “I highly recommend to put it somewhere on your website that you discriminate against same-sex couples.” Had she known that they didn’t host same-sex unions, she wouldn’t have wasted time and energy considering the venue.
The 2023 Supreme Court ruling
In 2022, Lorie Smith, a devout Christian web designer from Colorado, claimed the state’s anti-discrimination law violates her rights to free speech, specifically her opposition to same-sex marriage. She refused to create websites for same-sex marriages and said, “Colorado is censoring and compelling my speech. Forcing me to communicate, celebrate and create for messages that go against my deeply held beliefs.” In 2023, the Supreme Court ruled in Smith’s favor, which makes it legal for businesses to refuse their services to the LGBTQ+ community in special circumstances.
Many flocked to the comments section of Blair’s TikTok post to share their own experiences of having a difficult time looking for venues and vendors that cater to same-sex couples. Many suggested other venues to Blair, and one commenter offered to screen venues on Blair’s behalf to remove the stress of finding a location that welcomes all couples. Users rallied to help Blair find the perfect venue and offered their wishes for her to have a perfect wedding.
Others, however, were furious, with one writing, “This is unacceptable,” to which Blair replied, “Unacceptable, unfortunately legal. However, hoping the post educates and helps people like me.” Another commented, “I would hope the majority of the venues are not ridiculously homophobic like Eleven Oaks Ranch. This is very valuable information which I will share with everyone.”
The Knot Weddings, a wedding website that features venues and vendors, responded to Blair’s post asking her to shoot an email with a screenshot of the message she received. It seems they have a non-discrimination policy for all the businesses listed on their website and will most likely remove Eleven Oaks Ranch from their portal.