‘I hated my body’: Penn Badgley isn’t as happy about ‘Gossip Girl’ days as you’d think

Penn Badgley’s rise to fame as Dan Humphrey in Gossip Girl catapulted him into the spotlight, but his reflections on that period reveal a more complex and challenging experience than the glamorous image suggests. While the teen drama launched his career, Badgley now admits that his time on the show was deeply intertwined with struggles he faced concerning body image, the superficiality of the entertainment industry, and the isolating nature of fame.

These experiences, he revealed to The Guardian, significantly shaped his later career choices and perspectives. It also notably influencing his approach to the role of Joe Goldberg in You. He said, “There’s no way to get past the superficiality of this work, and if you recognize that, you can’t help but recognize the superficiality of our culture, because of the way it rewards this work.”

He also stated, “There was just a period where, coming out of depression and isolation, I was jumping willfully into, but also being thrust into, this world where the more conventionally beautiful I seemed, the more successful I might be, the more value I might have.”

Penn Badgley does not feel as good about ‘Gossip Girl’ as his fans do

Badgley’s childhood was marked by periods of isolation and body dysmorphia, feelings of self-hatred towards his own body, and a longing for a different physical form. This pre-existing vulnerability was exacerbated by the pressures of entering the acting world as a young man, where physical appearance is often paramount.

He found himself thrust into an environment where perceived beauty directly correlated with success and perceived worth. The transition from childhood struggles to the intense scrutiny of Hollywood only intensified his pre-existing issues. The experience, he suggests, served as a harsh lesson on the shallowness inherent in the industry and its reflection of societal values.

Despite its commercial success and lasting impact on his career, Gossip Girl did little to alleviate these concerns. In fact, Badgley now views the show as primarily defined by its aesthetics, the way the cast looked and the emphasis on a specific visual style. While acknowledging the show’s significance in launching his career, he openly dislikes the superficial celebrity culture surrounding it.

The focus on image amplified the aspects of the industry he found unsettling, emphasizing a system that prioritized appearances over substance. The intense attention from the public, he found, was “extremely unnatural,” creating a disconnect from genuine human interaction and fostering a sense of alienation.

This disillusionment with fame and the shallow aspects of his career led Badgley to explore spirituality in his mid-twenties, eventually leading him to find solace and grounding in the Baha’i faith. This spiritual journey provided him with the resilience needed to navigate the complexities of his career and fostered a shift in his priorities. This inner transformation, coupled with the stability of marriage and family life, significantly affected his approach to acting.

You allowed Badgley to explore darker themes and delve into the complexities of human nature. His portrayal of Joe Goldberg, a manipulative and violent serial killer, became a vehicle for self-reflection, serving as an exploration of the behaviors and attitudes he consciously chooses to avoid in his personal life.