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“They’ll be dressing them in wool pants.”
Stephen Colbert’s late-night show delivered a sharp and funny criticism of Donald Trump’s planned military parade, which is scheduled for June 14, the same day as Trump’s birthday. The segment focused on the overly extravagant size of the event, the questionable treatment of the military members taking part, and the obvious irony of a man who avoided military service organizing such a show of military strength.
As found by the NY Times, Colbert described the parade as an excessively expensive production, saying Trump would be leaving “his autocratic buddies behind, but he’s going to bring a taste of dictatorship back home when he does, ’cause he’s throwing a military parade on his birthday, featuring 6,600 soldiers, 150 vehicles and 50 helicopters.” According to Reuters, the estimated cost of the parade is at least $25 million.
This would add to Trump’s current controversies of a $400 million jet gift and threats he directed at Iran for the Iran deal. Colbert shifted focus to the less impressive details of the parade. Reports said that the participating service members would stay in an old government warehouse, get only one hot meal a day, and be told to bring their own sleeping bags. Soldiers have been treated worse, but it shouldn’t come from a sitting President.
Trump’s birthday seems over the top
This clear difference between the flashy public display and the rough conditions for the troops gave Colbert plenty to work with. He pointed out how ridiculous the situation was, joking that Trump might tell the soldiers to join him for a “birthday slumber party” and highlighting the irony of a man who never served in the military putting together such an event.
Colbert said, “And before you ask, yes, there will be costumes. Service members will be wearing period uniforms from the Revolutionary War to the present. Yes. It’ll be June in one of the most humid cities in America, and they’ll be dressing them in wool pants.”
He pointed out how uncomfortable it would be for service members to wear heavy wool uniforms in the hot and humid June weather of Washington D.C., humorously calling it the “Battle of Swamp Ass.”
Colbert’s criticism didn’t stop at the parade itself. He also pointed out the irony of Trump, who has been called “Cadet Bone Spurs” because of reports that he avoided military service, now organizing a massive military display for himself.
Published: May 16, 2025 12:27 pm