‘He speaks his language’: New Canada PM rolls up to the White House to babysit Donald Trump over his tantrums

Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney found himself playing the role of national nanny to America’s commander-in-chief tantrum-thrower.

The historic first meeting between these two North American leaders showcased a stark contrast: one man with actual economic expertise versus another who believes tariffs are like Pokemon—gotta collect ’em all! Carney, who shocked the political establishment by winning Canada’s April election after taking over Liberal leadership from Justin Trudeau in March, arrived at the White House with clear marching orders from voters: stand up to the bully down south. And stand up he did, particularly when Trump floated his bizarre annexation fantasy that’s been making Canadians collectively choke on their Tim Hortons.

“It’s not for sale, it won’t be for sale—ever,” Carney stated firmly in the Oval Office, responding to Trump’s creepy characterization of potential U.S.-Canada unification as “a wonderful marriage.” In typical fashion, Trump couldn’t take no for an answer, repeating “Never say never.”

The meeting, which analysts had predicted might devolve into diplomatic disaster given Trump’s notorious history with Trudeau, remained surprisingly cordial on the surface. Both leaders engaged in the customary exchange of platitudes, with Trump declaring, “Regardless of anything, we’re going to be friends with Canada. Canada is a very special place to me.”

The elephant in the room centered on trade issues that have rocked the $760 billion relationship between these historically close allies. Trump’s recent 25% tariffs on steel, aluminum, and certain automotive products have sent shockwaves through Canadian industry. His weekend announcement of a potential 100% tariff on foreign film production threatens to devastate Canada’s thriving entertainment sector, which has long served as “Hollywood North.” When directly asked if Carney could say anything to persuade him to lift these punitive measures, Trump’s response was characteristically blunt: “No.”

For his part, Carney—whose economic credentials as former head of both the Bank of Canada and Bank of England dwarf Trump’s history of bankruptcies—seemed to recognize he was playing a long game. Despite campaign promises to reshape the bilateral relationship, he avoided threats to the USMCA trade agreement that’s due for review in 2026, merely suggesting “some things about the pact needed to be changed.” Trump, meanwhile, called the agreement “fine and great for all countries.

With roughly 75% of Canadian exports heading to the United States, Carney’s government faces the unenviable task of maintaining access to its vital economic partner while somehow diversifying trade relationships—all while Trump continues his economic nationalism that treats allies like competitors.”