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Back in 2002 Gwyneth Paltrow met Coldplay frontman Chris Martin backstage, and the two later got married in 2003. But after 12 years of marriage and parenting two kids together, the couple divorced amicably to avoid any drama. As Paltrow and Martin have moved on to new relationships and continue to co-parent, the Goop founder talks about conscious uncoupling and how she lived with her ex “for like a year” after their split.
Divorces aren’t always easy when you’re in the public eye. Some examples include Brangelina’s divorce battle getting settled after seven years, and Johnny Depp’s divorce from Amber Heard which became a televised defamation trial highlighted in the Netflix docuseries Depp V. Heard. Fortunately for exes Paltrow and Martin, their separation seemed to be mutual and drama-free.
On The World’s First Podcast with Erin & Sara Foster, Erin Foster made sure to point out that with half of the population divorced, many ex-couples create toxic environments for their children. Paltrow gave hope that separations have the potential to be easy breezy based on her and her ex living together “for like a year:”
I think, now, people are thinking about different ways of separating and doing it. Chris and I lived together for like a year when we were already separated. I do think that it’s possible.
It’s pretty inspirational to show two exes can live under the same roof without any conflict. It’s the best way to show your kids that their parents are on good terms. Gwyneth Paltrow advised on the podcast episode that once you let go of the disappointment of a marriage not working out, she was able to open herself up to dating in her ‘40s. After dating producer Brad Falchuk since 2014, the two had a star-studded wedding in the Hamptons in 2018 and are still together now.
As for the secret to how Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have been able to co-parent and be cool with each other, it’s called “conscious uncoupling.” The Seven actress heard about the 21st-century phrase from their therapist, who helped them picture a future where they can be a family with each other while broken up. While Paltrow got real that “conscious uncoupling” wasn’t easy at first, she said keeping her two kids, Apple and Moses, in mind helped her realize it was the healthiest choice for her family:
Ultimately, if you’re saying you want to put your children first, then find a way not to do the thing where you’re cursing out the other one behind their back or dropping the kid at the end of the driveway. It means a lot in separation and divorce.
While kids seeing their parents no longer together is an adjustment, you can find ways to make the transition easier for them. Gwyneth Paltrow previously said that co-parenting after her divorce from Chris Martin was important to her, especially after hearing from adults of divorced parents express that they didn’t like seeing their parents not speak to each other or be in the same room. That’s when The Royal Tenenbaums actress knew that she didn’t want her kids to “feel in the middle” or be “products of a broken home” like others.
Gwyneth Paltrow said on the podcast how happy she felt that people came up to her, who heard her story of “conscious uncoupling,” that they could go on vacations with their new boyfriend and their ex-boyfriend together with no drama. It proves that there are healthy approaches to divorce that don’t involve bitterness or conflict.
If Gwyneth Paltrow was able to live with her ex Chris Martin for a year and can be friendly now with each other, this should give hope to many families going through divorce. It’s a reminder that with the right mindset, a breakup doesn’t have to break up a family dynamic.