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It’s a proud moment for any parent when their infant offspring displays such cognitive skill early on that they might just have a child prodigy on their hands. It’s another thing altogether, however, when a parent discovers their toddler may be a pint-sized criminal mastermind.
The dad in a viral TikTok video knows how this feels, anyway, after he presented his baby son Nicholas with the Trolley Problem. Even if you’re not familiar with that term, you’ve likely heard of the thought experiment it describes. The hypothetical situation goes that a tram, or trolley, is heading towards five people on one track. They can be saved, though, if you decide to divert the tram to another track, which has just one person on it. The moral quandary, then, is do you do nothing and let the five people die or intervene and kill the one?
Philosophers and psychologists have been approaching this problem in various different ways for decades, but little Nicholas has likely found a unique solution: why not kill everyone? When Nicholas’ dad recreated the Trolley Problem with his son’s train set and explained it to him, the toddler immediately jumped on how to fix it. Obviously, the answer is to move the one guy over so he can die with the rest and maximum carnage can ensue.
TikTok seems split on whether Nicholas is adorable for his quirky solution or if he’s the coming of the Anti-Christ. “He decided to include the other one! So sweet,” wrote one commenter, which is… one take on the evidence. Others thought we had another Gandhi on our hands for a moment there. “And I thought he did that so the train [could] go on the empty side.” Some feel Nicholas has struck upon the only way to make the problem fair: “True equality.”
As this isn’t the first time this video has gone viral, many commenters are wondering whatever happened to Nicholas and what will become of him when he reaches adulthood. “Future politician,” one perceptively predicted, as he sure does have the tyrannical disregard for human life required for the job. Another thinks we’re witnessing a “villain origin story” here. “This was like years and years ago… I wonder what Nicholas is up to now,” pointed out a different comment. “He shot Trump yesterday. r.i.p [sic],” someone with zero shame replied.
Nicholas might have been a hypothetical mass murderer before he was potty-trained, but at least he did achieve everlasting internet fame. His dad’s gotta be proud.