Donald Trump selects whale-decapitating anti-vaxxer with worms for brains and a bear corpse affinity as new health secretary

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Adding to his already controversial list of choices for his administration, Donald Trump has put forward RFK Jr. to be the secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services. 

Yep, the guy who had to dodge accusations about eating a dog, admitted to burying a bear cub in Central Park, and is thought to have decapitated a beached whale, might just be in charge of one of the most crucial roles in the White House. The president-elect announced his decision in a post on X, coincidentally owned by another one of his loyalists, saying the position is “the most important role of any Administration” and that RFK Jr. will “restore these Agencies to the traditions of Gold Standard Scientific Research.” 

Setting aside all that bizarre animal lore (between him and Kristi Noem, the White House will have to be pet-free), RFK Jr.’s selection is concerning for a number of reasons. For starters, the former independent presidential candidate — who dropped out of the 2024 race to endorse Trump — is one of the most prominent anti-vaccine conspiracy theorists in the country. Among other controversial claims, RFK Jr. has said that vaccines cause Autism, that the COVID-19 virus was “genetically engineered,” and that former White House medical advisor Dr. Anthony Fauci exaggerated the extent and severity of the pandemic. 

When taken with Trump’s suggestion during his first term to inject bleach as a treatment of COVID-19, it seems the potential Department of Health will take science merely as a light suggestion. Beyond being an anti-vaxxer, RFK Jr. — who has already accepted his nomination for the position — has previously said on social media that one of his first moves will be to advise that fluoride be removed from U.S. water systems, which could in turn create a dental crisis given the mineral’s teeth-strengthening properties. 

Trump has said that he hasn’t discussed that specific fluoride policy with RFK Jr., but admitted that “it sounds OK to me.” That Trump’s decision-making process for consequential health policies is “sounds OK” is cause for concern, but his selection of RFK Jr. for the role was perhaps to be expected. In the final days of his campaign — when we naively hoped we’d seen the last of him on the political stage — the president-elect said he would let RFK Jr to “go wild” on public health. Does he mean “wild” like beheading a beached whale? Or “wild” like transporting a roadkill bear cub to Central Park and burying it under a bike track?

RFK Jr. is simply the latest eye-popping name to be floated in relation to Trump’s administration. Yesterday, the president-elect put forward Matt Gaetz for the role of attorney general, meaning a man currently being investigated by the House Ethics Committee on charges of child sex-trafficking would be the leader of that very same executive branch. Meanwhile, Trump nominated dog terminator Noem for the secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, and tapped Musk to co-lead the so-called Department of Government Efficiency (get the hell outta DOGE!). 

Oh, Trump also tapped Tulsi Gabbard — who once shared a tweet calling him a b**** — to become the next director of national intelligence, so that’s fun. While his cabinet already reads like my nightmare blunt rotation, if Marjorie Taylor Greene’s name is even whispered in talks of a potential White House role, I’ll do an Eva Longoria and flee the U.S. once and for all.    


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