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Kids are tough, so tough that sometimes they have no problem dealing with a situation that would scare the pants off an adult. We underestimate children at our peril, as they can surpass their elders in everything from swearing up a storm to pulling off the ultimate heist. Just ask yourself: Would you be able to get kidnapped for three days and treat it as naught but a fun vacation?
TikTok user @milfwave aka Lissa stunned the rest of the app, and started demands for a Netflix adaptation, upon sharing her tale of the time she was once kidnapped by her mom’s drug dealer when she was very young because her mom owed him money. Lissa explained that she was a kindergartener at the time and the drug dealer brazenly stopped the school bus and took her away with him.
“I lived at his house for 3 days while he fed me grilled cheese sandwiches until she paid him back,” Lissa recalled, with all the fondness of someone nostalgically remembering going to Disneyland. “ACTUALLY MY FAV STORY TO TELL,” Lissa wrote in the video’s description.
TikTok had no idea what to make of this wild walk down memory lane. For starters, many are hoping that someone went to prison over this. The drug dealer? Her mom? The bus driver? Who cares, as long as someone did. “People went to jail for this, right?” one commenter demanded. Honestly, the bus driver seems to be everyone’s least favorite person in this story: “Uhm and the bus driver just let them take you?!?” The drug dealer, meanwhile, comes off pretty well. “He’s not a step dad he’s a dad who stepped up,” was how one comment put it.
“Now THIS is an original story,” someone exclaimed. Well, you would think so, but the comments section is actually full of people with unexpectedly similar life experiences. “My dads dealer did the same thing, but it was a week and mans took better care of me than my own dad, literally asked him if i could just stay there,” reads one comment, as another revealed, “my dad couldn’t pay his drug dealer so the guy politely let himself into the house and made us dinner and ate with us until my dad came home.” Then there was this one, which we need a story-time of now: “Girl! lol same thing except they ended up adopting me instead.”
In the comments, Lissa opened up a little more about her kidnapping, explaining, “he didn’t hurt me but he also didn’t know what to do with a kid so he just kept making me grilled cheese sandwiches? Like a lot of them. Meth heads are WEIRD.” While it’s darkly funny that Lissa is able to make light of her ordeal like this, and we’re all grateful that this Breaking Bad-class babysitter tried his best to treat her right, this situation could’ve turned out so much worse for Lissa. Bus driver, you have a lot to answer for.