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The Orange Menace is back for round two of his megalomaniacal reign of terror. Americans from both sides of the aisle are taking to the internet to vent their frustrations, screaming at their politicians to “DO SOMETHING!“
It’s understandable, really. Between the barrage of bewildering executive orders and the general feeling that we’re all extras in a bad dystopian movie, stress levels are off the charts. Amidst this national freak-out, Senator Michael Bennet of Colorado is stepping up to the plate. And who’s on the chopping block? None other than RFK Jr., handpicked by Donald Trump as a dubious role candidate for health secretary.
Bennet used his time during Kennedy’s Senate confirmation hearing to grill him on some of the more outlandish conspiracy theories he’s been peddling for years. The Senator asked Kennedy point-blank if he’d claimed that COVID-19 was a genetically engineered bioweapon designed to target specific racial groups. Kennedy tried to dodge the question by saying he was just quoting a study. “I’ll take that as a yes,” Bennet shot back.
He moved on to Kennedy’s claim that Lyme disease is a military bioweapon, which Kennedy sheepishly admitted to saying. Bennet made sure every suit in that room got an earful of Kennedy’s idiocy. “I want all of our colleagues to hear it, Mr. Kennedy. You said yes.”
Not stopping there, Bennet grilled Kennedy on whether he’d ever suggested that pesticides transform kids into transgender individuals. The disgraced politician suffered a convenient case of amnesia on that one.
Ultimately, Bennet relentlessly tore into Kennedy, arguing that his role as health secretary is too damn vital for these sorts of “games,” because, you know, people’s lives are on the line! Let’s acknowledge that he was there not just as a senator, but as every exasperated citizen and every science teacher who’s ever had to debunk the myth that the Earth is flat or that vaccines are some kind of genetic roulette.
Labeled the anti-vax poster boy, Kennedy Jr. has been stirring the pot of misinformation for years. He insists that the polio vaccine has offed more folks than polio itself. The brainworm-hijacked grandpa also thinks U.S. tap water is a secret gay conversion liquid and touts raw milk as the nectar of the gods. He’s also a card-carrying member of the “vaccines cause autism” cult, despite the mountain of scientific evidence that’s buried that claim six feet under.
If all of this wasn’t enough to make you question his grip on reality, Kennedy has reportedly gone full-on Captain Ahab and decapitated a whale, allegedly ditched a dead bear cub in the middle of Central Park, and even delivered a sermon while murdering a grasshopper in front of a camera (I can’t even begin to untangle that psychodrama).
Here’s one guy, Senator Bennet, who is at least doing something against this dash of dystopia. Maybe this is the signal flare we needed, a sign that not all heroes wear capes — some wield a gavel and have the audacity to demand truth in a hall filled with mirrors.